We have been thinking, planning, reading, soul searching, and researching for so long. I think that both Dennis and I have always known that we would adopt, but making the announcement to our family and friends makes it so real. When we decided for sure that adoption is the path that we are going to take to build our family, the first thing that we thought was that we have to share this with our friends and family. We are so excited and want to celebrate the news with everyone. But we were also a little bit nervous to tell. We did not know how people would react. In our adoption training they taught us how to deal with comments and we were prepared for anything. However; we have received nothing but such positive, welcoming, supportive comments! It has truly been amazing and has made us even that much more excited and loving the celebration!
A few weeks ago we took the adoption training that is required by the state of Texas. Going into the weekend we could not imagine what in the world they could talk about for 12 hours. We had NO idea what we were in for. It was truly one of the most amazing weekend of our lives. It was the most healing thing that I have ever been through and really believe that it strengthened not only our marriage but our individual resolve. We started the day on Saturday by discussing the stereotypes of adoptees; adoptive parents; and birth mothers (commonly referred to as first mother or FM). We then had every one of those stereotypes blown out of the water and learned how to deal with people around us that will make the same assumptions of our adoption situation. After lunch there was a panel of seven birth moms. They each told their individual stories and everything that has come along with making the decision to give up a child. These women were absolutely amazing and inspiring. The decision that they have made is one that I will forever respect with every ounce of my being.
After talking with the birthmothers we moved on to learning how to grieve the loss of fertility. Every couple (14 couples) in the room had dealt with some form of infertility and it was so comforting and healing to go through this process with them. It was the most intense few hours of our lives, but was more healing than I will ever be able to convey.
On Sunday we learned about different challenges adoptive parents and children face and how we as parents can handle the challenges and can teach our children to handle them. Dennis was chosen to roll play (that is what happens when you try to get your wife to do it! hehhehee) and he did an amazing job! It was neat for me to watch him handle the questions that were raised and gave me a glimps into the future of Dennis being a dad. After that we had a panel of adoptive parents come in and share their stories and field questions. It truly was an amazing weekend.
Now we move on to the home study process and figuring out how we will ever pay for this. That is the most terrifying aspect of adoption... figuring out how in the hell we will come up with $30,000 and will we have it when a birth mother chooses us. It is something that has given us both nightmares, but I am confident that it will all come together one way or another.
And so the journey of our adoption begins. It is exciting and scary all at the same time and we are so blessed to have all of you sharing it with us. Please feel free to ask us any questions that you might have along the way and we will do our best to answer them.
Cheers!
D&L
